Five movies where you got more than you paid for.

So after dogging Tom Cruise for the movie Legend it got me reading and ultimately I was thinking about the film Born on the Fourth of July. Which leads me to this week’s Motion Picture Monday. Sometimes you really do get more than you paid for.

Born on the Fourth of July. The gut wrenching autobiographical tale of Ron Kovic tears at your heart on several levels, perhaps more so for veterans who understand that not all conflict is overseas.

The Perfect Storm. Really, how much acting did you expect from a movie starring George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg, an actor whose biggest claim to fame is not something I’ll explain here (you can look it up)? This movie got the most out of everyone involved and tells the mesmerizing yet deeply personal story of commercial fishing in New England.

Rocky. Nominated for ten Academy Awards and winner for Best Picture, 1976 call it a dumb sports movie if you want to. Rocky is a quintessential tale of determination and perseverance, if you ever feel like an underdog watch this film.

Good Will Hunting. I’m partial to New England, I am amazed by people who can do complex math, and I have a soft spot in my heart for janitors who accomplish something (it’s a long story but the two people who read this will understand).

The Great Outdoors. I could make a list of fifty great comedies that came from the 80’s. Is it me or were movies funnier then? John Candy, Dan Akroyd and irreverent raccoons are a combination I could watch a thousand times, where’s a sequel when you need one?

Five movies where you didn’t get what you paid for

When movie price are like $47 per ticket you expect to be entertained. Action movies ought to blow up every damned thing in Los Angeles (or New York, whatever) comedies should make you laugh until you pee your pants. In that light I give you five movies that really didn’t give you what you wanted.

Simon Birch. If your movie poster even mentions Jim Carrey then your movie ought to at least be a little funny. I used to go to the movies a lot when I was stationed in Virginia and the movie poster said Jim Carrey, and we wanted a comedy. Little did we know that this depressing melodrama centered on a dwarf 12 year-old whose family and pastor hate him and then he drowns. Seriously.

Legend. Even the biggest stars have duds. Legend starring Tom Cruise as Jack o’ the Green and, here’s a hint, Tim Curry wasn’t even a good movie when I was 9 years old. From Wikipedia, “the Lord of Darkness (Tim Curry) instructs his goblin servant Blix (Alice Playten) to locate the two unicorns that roam in the nearby forest and remove their horns. If the unicorns die and their horns are removed, the Lord of Darkness can ensure that dawn never again breaks, and sunshine never returns.” What?

The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I hate to pile on Eddie Murphy but this movie generally appears on everyone’s list of the worst financial failures ever, possibly because it was one of the worst movies ever. The fact that it was expensive only makes it suck more.

The Singing Detective. So obscure I actually stumbled across it by accident, this movie starred and was produced by Mel Gibson, who by 2003 was a fairly bankable star. But when your protagonist is “suffering from the skin disease psoriasis and a crippling arthritis” (thank you Wiki) you may be headed for trouble even with Katie Holmes, Robert Downey Jr., and Adrien Brody. While spending just $8 million to make this movie is fairly impressive, it becomes a lot less impressive when your film grosses $337,000.

Gigli. This movie had an established big budget star, and a Hollywood sex symbol. With Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, how could you go wrong, so very, very, very wrong? On Rotten Tomatoes.com 152 of 162 people rated it negatively.

Ten Great Animated Films

So I have been on a little hiatus from the blogulations. The boy, and work, and school can sometimes be a bit overwhelming and frankly the blog finishes a distant fifth to fishing in spite of my lack of fishing prowess (but more on that tomorrow). We are actually all sitting together watching Snow White so I thought for Motion Picture Monday it might be nice to make a list of ten must see (not to be mistaken with top 10) animated films.

1. Remember this one? Cool World featured Kim Basinger and Brad Pitt as some sort of detective in an animated nonsensical world.

2. Snow White was the movie that proved that animation could work in movies. That wacky Walt Disney had to prove it could be done.

3. See also Cool World but Who Framed Roger Rabbit beat the Brad Pitt entry to the punch by four years in the leggy cartoon, animated mayhem, live action, detective drama.

4. Want depressing cartoons? The Secret of NIMH is a real downer about rats subjected to chemical testing, and there’s a sick kid (well mouse kid) and a cinder block house that’s sinking, or something like that.

5. Pinocchio is one of my all-time favorites. Deep, meaningful, without being to preachy and just spooky enough that you can still let your three year-old watch it.

6. Sticking with the Disney theme (hell they invented the genre) Sleeping Beauty is kind of a standard princess fairy tale with one key exception. Maleficent is hands down one of the best villains in cinematic history (animated or otherwise).

7. A generation of boys (including me) grew up waiting for Transformers and GI Joe the movie, not the cheesy big budget remakes but the 80’s cartoon. I’ll give the nod to GI Joe.

8. A beautiful off-beat love story if it had starred Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and been set in Paris it would have won best picture. Unfortunately Wall-E starred two robots, was set in space and had the misfortune of being animated so it got screwed.

9. Stop-action animation is still animation and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is one of the best. Emblematic of a half dozen great movies you looked forward to every year Rudolph was always my favorite.

10. The photo-negative of Pinocchio, who only wants to be a real boy, is Peter Pan whose entire motivation is to live in a fantasy world and never grow up. Constantly being redone the Disney one is still the best. On the other side of the coin this is one of Disney’s most textbook stereotypical movies with caricatures of Native Americans, disempowered and denigrated women, and frankly it doesn’t do a whole lot for pirates and house pets either.

Five Great Military Movies

So my first installment of Motion Picture Monday will have to be a cheapy. I stalled on a weekend paper and as it is due today I had to finish writing it this evening. So just a short review of five great military movies in no particular order.

Gladiator- Let's get this out of the way right now, we weren't the first nation to go to war and we sure as hell won't be the last. I love the battles and Russell Crowe's stoic leadership, a soldier who has been there and understands. Favorite quote, "If you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled.For you are in Elysium and you are already dead."

Empire of the Sun- Produced by Steven Spielberg this movie is probably the most elegant war movie ever coupled with a haunting soundtrack featuring a lip-syncing Christian Bale to the Welsh Lullaby Suo Gan. I also love the war imagery, war isn't all about bombs and tanks sometimes it's about riding around a living room on a bicycle and golf shoes that don't quite fit.

Stripes- If I could only watch one movie on a continuous loop until the end of time it would probably be Stripes. Bill Murray, Harold Ramos, and John Candy are like peanut butter, jelly, and powdered sugar.You should go pick it up in the $5 bin at Wal-mart and check out the deleted scenes. "Cuando, cuando, cuando cuuanddooo..."

Red Dawn- Laugh, I don't really care. I grew up at the height of the cold war and when I was a kid and had bad dreams it was of this. The Russians were scary and there was always that little chance no matter how slight that they might not love their children too. Granted I was like eight years old when this movie came out but this is another classic probably found in the $5 bin.

Das Boot- I know you're thinking, "Oh great he's probably got a black beret and will next tell us how much he loves Franz Kafka." But let me tell you, I have like a twelve minute attention span and I was riveted to the director's cut of this movie, which for the record is three and a half hours and entirely in German, seriously.

The Best Laid Plans...

So I have thought out an agenda for the blog. I doesn't necessarily mean that I will start writing every day and I reserve the right to break my own self imposed rules. In the interest of sparking a higher quality of creativity I will try to post on different topics on different days. That way over the course of a week a thought can be more refined on a given topic.

Monday- Motion Picture Monday's will be for discussing or reviewing movies, either the family movie of the week, a new movie coming out, or perhaps a classic favorite. Another possibility is secondary topics related to movies such as who's the best Bond or the Jedi Religion.

Tuesday- Fish Stories will be reserved for Tuesdays. I do most of my fishing over the weekend so this is a good day to spin some new yarns or share some photos.

Wednesday- World Wide Wednesday is the day to explore unusual articles and websites from the web. A link to a link can lead you to some interesting places, and there's always YouTube.

Thursday- A picture is worth A Thousand Words. Picture, link as appropriate, and credit only no words on Thursday.

Friday- Family Friday will cover our adventures in parenting, what the boy is up to, etc.

Saturday- Jumble covers loose odds and ends Muskrat scores, politics, crazy drivers with cell phones, whatever.

Sunday- Super Sports Sunday covers topics near and dear to my heart in the world of sports. The Tour de France, the Little League World Series...whatever as long as it's sports related.